Telling the Story

There are countless untold stories of all kinds ruminating around in my head. The first and the most important is a story of how I began this life long journey of helping people through the tragedies, loss and or traumas. For years following my return home from the Vietnam War, I couldn’t watch a movie about war, especially Vietnam, without crying. I do not mean casual crying either! I mean weeping and sobbing, mostly out of sight on anyone. Maybe that is why I am so attracted to movies where the underdog finally triumphs over some seemingly immovable or enormous obstacle whether the war, the death of a loved one or overcoming poverty. All of which I have a personal story to tell.
I am absolutely convinced that the healing process or positive behavior change is not complete without the story or the narrative. Some of the greatest authors in history, such as Mark Twain, and even the most prolific storyteller, Jesus, communicated the importance of the narrative or the story. For example, Jesus used stories or parables as powerful tools in his collection to help people change bad behavior and habits. In The Story Factory: Inspiration, Influence and Persuasion, Annette Simmons articulates the power of the narrative or the story. If you are trying to pull it all together or make sense of a loss, tragedy or trauma, her comments about a “vision story” are informative. About telling a “vision” story, Simmons writes, “a real vision story connects with people in a way that shrinks today’s frustrations in light of the promise of tomorrow.” She adds, “A vision story weaves all the pieces together - particularly the struggles and frustrations – so that they make sense.” According to Simmons “to live in this world with purpose and meaning we must tell ourselves some story of the vision that gives our struggle meaning.”
Telling your story let’s other hear your inner thoughts and feelings. It also lets others with similar stories to say, “I thought I was alone.” Writing the story down as a narrative has two important benefits. First, it gives you an opportunity to take a more objective view of your situation by giving you the prospect for reappraising the event. Second and I feel one of the most important, is that by writing it down, it gives you the chance to begin emotionally distancing yourself from the event. By rereading the story and the more you tell the story, the greater opportunity to separate from the events negative emotions. Over the past 20 years, I have witnessed people heal by retelling their story. It’s my hope, that you too will use the story to heal.



My views don’t represent the views of the US Air Force or the US Air Force Chaplain Corps. They are my personal and professional views.